Fantasy Guru Daily: 5/11/11

He refuses to go away. With no actual football to distract us from meaningless off-the-field stories, he has managed to permeate the news cycle once again. On the suggestion of former Panther DT Brenston Buckner, he might be back… in an advisory role.

Favre could tutor Cam Newton, agent says… Hey, don’t blame us for bringing this up during the lockout! Ol’ Flip-Flop knows how to get his name out there, and his PR department deserves credit for finding yet another way for people to talk about him, even when he’s not playing. Observe:

[[phone rings]]

Newton: Hello?

Favre: Uhh… is this uhh Cam?

Newton: Why, yes it is. To whom am I speaking?


Favre: Uhh, Cam, this is uhh Brett Favre, former N.. uhh… lemme rephrase that… NFL quarterback.

Newton: Jolly good day, Mr. Favre. And to what extent are you requesting my correspondence?

Favre: Uhh, Cam, there is a uhhh lockout. Don’t know if you know that. That means you’re bein’ “locked out,” so to speak. Might prevent you from gettin’ “unlocked” in the near future. It’s tough, uhh, bein’ a rookie quarterback in the NFL. Especially if you don’t get to know your coaches. Don’t really get to know your teammates. Don’t really get to know the fans. It’s all about the teammates and fans. If you’re not mowing that lawn, the grass ain’t gonna get cut.

Newton: Quite aware of the situation, sir. Fortunately, I rendezvoused with coach Ron Rivera shortly after being drafted, at which time I received my playbook. I am deep in study, deep in thought. I will be prepared.

Favre: Now see uhhh that’s the thing. You uhhh might think you’ll be prepared, but you won’t be. Young quarterbacks in this league need time. Need time to get to know the coaches. Need time to get to know the teammates. The fans. It’s all about them. You’ve got to, uhh, mow the lawn before you play on it.

Newton: You’ve really chosen to drive that point home.

Favre: Well, uhh, it’s true. And that’s why I’m here. You know Bus? Bus Cook? Bus Cook the agent? Agent for NFL players?

Newton: Quite well. I acquired his services prior to last month’s NFL Draft. Bus will be representing me in upcoming contract negotiations with the Panthers.

Favre: Bus thinks I could, uhh, “mentor” you. By that, I mean I could be your mentor. Be your teacher. You are not “locked out” from meeting me. Talking to me. I’ll teach you about the teammates. I’ll teach you about the fans. It’s all about the teammates and fans. Nothing about you. There is no place in this, uhh, game for yourself. Have you ever mowed the lawn before stepping on it?

Newton: I’m not sure the metaphor is connecting with me, Mr. Favre.

Favre: It means you’ve uhhh got to put in the dirty work. When you’re “locked out,” it’s hard to put in the dirty work. I’m all about dirty work. I’ll teach you how to be, uhhh, “dirty.” I know how to get dirty. Be dirty. How to be selfless. I learned how to be selfless. Did you know I sat on the bench in Atlanta, prior to going to Green Bay? I mowed that lawn. And it was AstroTurf! Didn’t matter. I did it for my teammates. I did it for the fans. And did you see Aaron?

Newton: Do you mean Aaron Rodgers, Super Bowl winning QB?

Favre: The same. Aaron mowed that, uhh, “lawn.” Four or five times over. Sometimes you’ve got to be the “lawnmower’s apprentice.” He did it for his teammates. For the fans. I taught him that. I taught him that it’s not about himself. I taught Kellen Clemens to be unselfish. I taught him about the NFL. Then, I taught Tarvaris Jackson and Joe Webb that it’s not about themselves. They know about the teammates, they know about the fans.

Newton: And it’s all about them, right?

Favre: You’ve got it. But you’ve still got a, uhh, long way to go. I wasn’t ready to step out on that grass right away. If I had my way, Aaron still wouldn’t be out there. And that’s why I’m, uhh, here to help you. You know, I’ve had a lot of bruises in my time. Have you seen them? What do you think about ‘em?

Newton: What are you getting at, Mr. Favre?

Favre: Uhh, how do you think I look in black and blue?


Oh yeah, Alan Faneca retired.

- Joe Dolan

Category: Fantasy Guru Daily, Joe Dolan

Tagged: , , , ,

2 Responses

  1. JBeau says:

    Hahaha…I love it. Good stuff Joe. Favre just won’t go away.

  2. [...] is throwing again… Should this be a surprise to anyone? Remember, we delivered this exclusive conversation between Brett Favre and rookie Cam Newton just a few weeks ago, and now the reports have already [...]

Leave a Reply